When you don’t have any work to turn in to the teach, you might use one of many excuses: “I left my homework on the bus,” “I did the wrong assignment,” “I got run over by a tractor trailer,” “My dog at my homework.” All of which are a surefire way for your teacher to know that you’re a filthy liar. Unless you’re Payton Moody. Her dog Reggie took that last excuse super literally. The little dog duder ate Payton’s science project, a volcano made of candy (eee, my favorite kind of volcano!) and held together with pins. C’mon Reg, WTF do you have against volcanoes? The pup was taken to the animal hospital where the vet had to extract the pins. But don’t worry, Reggie is a-okay now. But hopefully he learned his lesson: don’t f*** around with volcanoes, bro! Payton, on the other hand, had to redo the project from start to finish. What?! This is the first person in history to be telling the truth about her dog eating her homework. She deserves a free pass!
oh man. one time i was out with a group of friends, it was around 3 in the morning and we’d all just spilled out of this nightclub, all completely smashed, when one guy goes “OI DID YOU SEE THAT? THAT LIGHT JUST THEN??” and this fUCKING LASER DOT ZOOMS PAST US ON THE GROUND AND WE’RE ALL LIKE YOOOOO DAFUQ IS DIS??? I SWEAR TO GOD WE SPENT NEARLY TEN MINUTES CHASING THIS FUCKING THING AROUND THE STREET BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT THERE WAS SOME ASSHOLE LIKE 10 STORIES UP IN THE APARTMENT BEHIND US PISSING HIMSELF.
so yeah. cats, ducks and drunk college students. fucking idiots the lot of them.